Tuesday, August 28, 2012


I dreamt, I was trapped, living inside a large Victorian farm house, the house made me crazy and had a control over me somehow in a supernatural sense. I wanted to escape but I had embraced it knowing something was there. The house was dark I remember the wood work was intricate, it had tall stairs, long halls, very little windows. I had stabbed my sister heleyna in rage and she was laying on her bed on her side curled up, unable to move. She was slowly bleeding to death, the blood was bright red but I didn't know why I had done this to her, I think I was angry at her and wanted her to die for what she had done but I didn't know what it was. I stood there in the room watching her die, a knock came to the door. I lifted my sister down on the ground still laying on her blanket, without harming her, and pushed her under the bed while she looked at me with terror on her face.

I left her there and quickly ran down the stairs to answer the door. To my surprise the door opened, but a police man stood at the door, wanting to get in but I refused to let him in, knowing my sister was bleeding to death upstairs. I didn't want him to find out what I had done, even though he persisted, I refused to let him in. So he promised he would be back with a warrant. After he left I closed the heavy door and locked it. I started worrying about murdering my sister, going to jail, the shame of it all, why had i done that to her and that maybe she didn't deserve it, she was going to die, and what was I going to do next?  I didn't want to call the ambulance because I didn't want them to arrest me. In my anguish I ran to the roof and decided I would jump off and kill myself.

Standing on top of the roof looking down at the ground, I contemplated if the fall would be long enough to kill me instantly, I remember looking down, the roof had two levels and I could only see barren farm land all around me. There was no driveway to this house only gravel surroundings. I worried I wouldn't die if I jumped but instead just break bones and end up suffering in pain. After standing there for awhile I decided against killing myself and went back down through the hatch in the roof down to where Heleyna was. By this time, I was getting worried about Heleyna and decided I should call the cops to set things right. When the cops showed up and they took Heleyna away i didn't know if she lived or not cause I woke up from the dream because it was so disturbing.

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