Thursday, December 27, 2012

caged cannibals

I had a dream last night that i had one pet mouse, it was brown with a white bottom, i had it in a particularly oddly small cage, which a yellow running wheel. I keep trying to clean the cage, but poop kept accumulating everywhere, it never stayed clean no matter how much i cleaned it. While I was cleaning the cage i had the mouse on my shoulder when i tripped over a cord in my room and fell backwards, and crushed the mouse. I remember sitting up and being worried about the mouse, if it had ran away? or was it ok? there it was it was underneath my head and it had thrown up this brown mess. I felt so horrible, so picked up the mouse as fast as i could also worried about it getting lost in the house and put it back in the cage, when I noticed one of it's eyes was infected, it was red, puffy, and had like maggots crawling it.. It looked painful when i opened my eyes

A true story, I did once have 4 mice, and I usually had them separated off in pairs cause they didn't seem to get along as one cage, anyway I would try to put them together in trials then if i felt they weren't behaving I would separate them. Some days they got along really great some days they would chase each other around in the cage and squeaking and nipping at their behinds. I thought they had enough food....I thought they were fine. They were in a cage together and one day I came home and went to check on them. When I noticed the 4 mice were now only 2 mice. I walked in on Pepper eating Sandy, it was horrific. Pepper was nibbling on Sandy's intestines, picking at her dead low half of her corpse. I found no remains of Mitten's but only a black fur tuff. There was one skull sucked dry, no skin on the bones or even blood. Freckle was huddled in the corner under the water bottle, looking weak and scared. I was so disgusted with what I had saw, I started gagging. I was about to throw up, I couldn't believe what had happened, that I had found it so disgusting but it was just reality. Was I that weak stomached? ran through my mind, It was like something out of a zombie movie. When A wave of guilt hit me I couldn't stand to look at them. It was a summer night, months back so I took the cage outside and let both Pepper and Freckle go into the swamp grass by my house. Sometimes I think maybe I abandoned them that night but I felt it was better for them to live the rest of their lives to make their own choices. Plus there was lots of places to hide since we don't ever mow our lawn. Even death by owl was better than what I did to them. I just didn't feel right about keeping them caged against their will. They wanted their own space  and had shown me that. I didn't want to be reminded of what had happened, i didn't even see them leave the cage it was so dark out. I felt like I had caused the deaths of Sandy and Mittens by not watching them closely enough, not being a good enough pet keeper.  I was selfish to keep an animal in a cage and they were meant to be free.

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